Null curriculum
In the education world, there is something called ‘null curriculum’. Basically, it refers to the fact that when you DON’T say something, it can still communicate or teach students. So if a band director never praised his trumpet section for playing well, they might get the idea that they were no good (even if the director never said that they were bad). Or if your parents never tell you that they love you, you might grow up thinking they don’t really like you all that much (again, even if they haven’t said anything mean in particular).
Basically, thinking about null curriculum helps those who teach to recognize what they have been unintentionally saying through what they have neglected or forgotten to communicate.
As your youth pastor, I often think about the big picture of what you are going to learn for the years that I get to have you as a part of our youth group. I have the privilege of seeing some of you roughly once a week for 7 years. Some less than that. But part of my job is to think about what to teach you about faith and the church and Jesus before you leave high school and move into whatever life has for you as an “adult”.
But, just like every teacher and parent, there is some null curriculum that’s I’ve been teaching. Some stuff that I might be saying without saying – and some of it is the kind of thing I don’t want to be saying in the first place. And it’s important enough that I would hate for some of you to hear it, and others to miss it because you had something else going on that night/morning. So I thought I’d toss it online so you can read it at your leisure.
I love you guys
No, really. I care a lot about you. And in case you wonder if you are included in the ‘you’ that I just mentioned, if you have showed up more than once to any youth event, if you are a teenager and have been around enough for me to know your name, you are ‘you’.
But that’s not the part I really want to get to. I think most of you know that already.
I bring this up because there is a unique dynamic in the relationship between youth pastor and student. I recognize that a lot of you guys like me. But because I am a pastor (a priest, even), I think that sometimes you might get the idea that I want (or even expect) you to look and act a certain way. That you should not swear around me, that you should say only nice things around me, or that you should be unwaveringly certain about your faith in God when you are around me. I think, since I don’t often say things to the contrary, that you may truly believe that if you told me any bad things that you’ve done, or used “offensive” language, or (worst of all) don’t believe everything you are “supposed” to believe about Jesus or God or the Bible, that I will not like you. Or that I will instantly try and fix your filthy, sinful ways.
I’ve not put much time into telling you otherwise, which is my fault. I have set a null curriculum that if you don’t fit a certain mold, I will be unhappy with you and try to force you into being a very particular type of person.
Let me set the record straight: I want nothing more than for you to be exactly as you are when you are around me. If you swear around your friends, I want to hear that string of obscenities. And if you don’t agree with something that I’ve said or you think church is stupid or if you frankly don’t think God exists or you wonder how God can be real when the world is so messed up or if you are mad at God for letting life be as tough as it is – I want to hear it. And I can promise that I will try my best not to jump in to “fix” you. I confess I am not always the best listener, but I genuinely want to hear your story. Outside of the potential for you bringing harm to one of the other students (who I also care deeply about), there’s nothing that you can think or feel or believe that would make me want you to not come around or keep in touch or be at youth group events. I vowed to serve in the church of the God who loved us before we loved Him, and I wouldn’t dare withhold love from people that God loves unconditionally.
Wherever your faith is, you’ll always be welcome when we meet to talk about God. In fact, I’d say asking tough questions and experiencing doubt about God is an important part of growing in faith and understanding – so bring tough questions to youth group and ask em. Maybe we’ll all grow because of it.
I still want you to know Jesus
Which leads me to my next point. Just because I think doubt and questions are important doesn’t mean that I think the best possible expression of faith is some sort of quasi-agnosticism, where you have no idea what you believe. It’s a really important part of the journey to deal with tough questions, but what I ultimately want for each and every one of you is for you to walk with Jesus. To learn about who He is, the kind of abundant and radical life He is calling you to, and to take those shaky steps of faith in whatever direction it is that He leads you.
I don’t want this so you can be part of “my team” or so that I can feel good about what I do. I want this for you because I care about you, and I truly believe that the best life you can live is a life following Jesus. I think that includes learning to act the way God wants us to act (something that you can only accomplish with God’s help), and maybe doing some things that make your life difficult (like behaving in a way that goes against what the world tells you to do or giving up things that seem at first glance to be more fun than not). I think a life following Jesus can be really hard. A life following Jesus will not always be fun. but I believe it will really be the best life you could possibly live – the most human life you could live.
So: you keep on being you. You should never feel like you have to pretend to have it together, or to have more faith than you actually do, or to behave in a way that isn’t true to who you are. I’ll do my best to walk alongside you, listen to you, and hopefully show you who God is so that you can live a life following Him. And hopefully through the process we’ll all become more and more like the people God made us to be.
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